Archive for Love

Another Cat Lady Topic Request (AKA Phoebe): When is enough, enough? Where do you draw the line to fight for what you want, and when do you walk away?

Posted in Spontaneous Combustion with tags , , , , , on April 19, 2012 by juliegypsy

I will open with the most important piece of this blog: When you decide you do not apologize or ask for permission to be who you are is when you truly understand the meaning of the word “want”. This word is one of the foulest four letter words in the English language? Why? Because it is naturally and automatically fucking corrupt. Yes, emphasis on the words “fucking corrupt”. In a sense, the word means to long for what you do not have. When in reality, we all have what we want if we get it. And we all CAN have what we desire. Whether you should or not, that’s another blog.

Anything short of getting what you desire is pitty and envy….not want. If you do not acquire what you desire, you may be seeking something unhealthy or unneccessary. The truth is, I despise this word…”want”. Aside from posting furniture and artwork I wish to own, the word does not exist in my vocabulary typically. Not to say I am above it or below it, I just don’t believe in living below your own expectations and needs in life. I do not say “I wish I could, I want to learn how to paint”… I just fucking do it whether it sucks or not in someone’s eyes. I truly do not care in my heart whether or not someone approves of my personality traits, hobbies or desires. I love what I love…always have and always will. So my answer to this question lies behind the beholder’s eyes. Truly you can not keep fighting for something that does not hold your fist. If your efforts are lost, you probably should have left the fight ages ago. If not, and that is what you desire, kick it in the ass and show it who’s boss. Otherwise, don’t complain if you sit…and wait… for it to get better. Nothing fosters in idle time except learning within yourself.

There is no such thing as “enough” in my opinion if you truly decide to pursue that which you intend to enjoy or destroy. Some would call that overly passionate or in some cases destructive. But lets look at the brilliant men and women of our time that hold chapters in our school books as we learn… Leonardo Da Vinci (one of my fathers), never allowed the masses to dictate his “place” in life. An advisor to Kings, an unparalleled artist, one of our anatomical fathers and a family man… there is no spoon. Beethoven decided to write symphonies without the ability to hear and has inspired orchestral madness during your lifetime, your parents’ lifetime, your grandparents’ lifetime and so on… and took your shit by storm whether you hear him or not… there is no box. Imhotep was the advisor of Pharaohs, a king of his own with his study and ability to heal when there was no such thing as “anti-biotics”. He believed in magic and the levels of reincarnation… crazy? To some.

In short, if you don’t see the truth and consequence behind your own choices, blame another for outcome or cast yourself aside to allow someone else to hold your spotlight, you have not yet seen your true days in life. Take a birds eye view of your life and really ask yourself, am I at the steering wheel?

Love yourself before you love another. Take hold of who your inner self decides to be… regardless of who the fuck is looking. Love and be loved.

Advertisements

Gripes of Terror Exes

Posted in Life, Men are Complicated, Women are Complicated with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2011 by juliegypsy

Yes – even a free thinking, free spirited, creative independent Gypsy has an all associated, pissed off ex story. I dont think we ever truly get over the experience of why someone in our life becomes an “ex” or why we became one for that matter. We all think there is no reason in hell that it’s our fault. We blame game, point fingers, cry, get angry, get revenge, speak ill of those we once loved, eagerly piss on old photos (ok maybe that one is just me). But when the ex factor becomes cement, there are very specific orders of thoughts and events where the human mind commonly and strategically acts out within this perfect order.

The Break Up – Indecisive Anger: “What the hell was he thinking? Who is HE to tell me who I am? Only I know me best! Maybe this is fixable. Maybe I did something… oh hell no I did not. Why does HE call all the shots and try to gain control of this fucked up mess of a relationship? Maybe I can talk him into being a nice guy again. Oh hell no I shouldn’t have to do that. How can HE act like HE has all the right and be such a dick to ME?”

Reality: Everyone thinks this about everyone regardless of gender or how wrong the other person was. In the end, we all fight for the same rights: dignity and self respect that we all know we deserve. The thing is, so are they. Its when someone else comes into our lives, we have all these great memories, we open ourselves up and then POW – we or they or both shit on it and kill it faster than it sprouted. Unless you have been the most passive nice person and someone just beat the shit out of you for no reason (only time this blog post does not apply), we are all assholes. As much as I hate to admit that, I will raise my hand and admit that I am a classic asshole who reeks of the next step.

Revenge: When we decide it’s not our fault, we have been wronged and the other person is showing they dont care or are being spiteful, our first response is… “what can I do to get their attention in ALL the wrong ways”. This is indeed the wrong response but human is human and we all do it. Maybe some more than others. Some humans still have self control. But most dont. So when we feel wronged, we become a shadow of ourselves and seek revenge. Such as… going to Barnes & Noble or your local book store and selecting the “bill me later” option and subscribing your ex to every magazine in history. Or ordering the Sunday paper and selecting “bill me later”. Or opening an Amazon account and sending every self disrespecting sex toy to their house Or adding them to wwww.dontdatehimgirl.com. Its a vicious and terrible thing revenge is.

Reality: It all comes back to you times three. Karma is karma whether you believe in it or not. Whether you feel wronged or doubted or disrespected, in the end, no one gives a shit. The fun was the chase and when you were together. At the closing, its an ugly massacre that sprays guilt on both your lives and your houses. So dont be banished as the stories are told.

Welcoming Your Psychotic Nature: Everyone (mostly your ex) will tell you that you are insane. That you need therapy and shouldn’t be able to run loose in society. Their last thought before going to bed is the comfort that maybe at some point you will be placed in a padded room never to be heard from again.

Reality: Fuck em if they cant stand the heat. They shouldn’t have treaded on waters that were rapid in the first place if they couldn’t handle your inner passion. 🙂

The End