Frenemies – Another Captain Phoebe Von CatLady Challenge

I am happy to report that my dear friend Phoebe’s blog ( continues to make me laugh, think and inspire. She hath wielded yet another challenge at my noggen. So here goes…

FRENEMIES:  is a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.

This topic spawns angry Julie (apologies in advance to the sensitive eye/ear). My primary universal peeve is people who are dishonest, superficial or promote personal gain through destroying the relationships/friendships of others. This is usually due to actions of those who are insecure within themselves and have to act out with special needs in order to feel seen. For example, I recently went to a shindig while my boyfriend (who I had dated for over 5 years) and I were broken for a time being. He showed up freshly gym pumped, Brad Pit stylin and smelling fancy…  multiple female friends who I’ve known and loved for over a decade just about dropped their panties publicly to get his attention knowing he was single. I had only 1 of 2 explanations to digest: unintentional needy female not thinking clearly not remembering the wrath side of Julie -or- an intentional stab in my face with a dull greasy butter knife. I chose to smile and nod as it would have been poor form to spill blood at such an important event. However, you find out who your frenemies are in these situations.

On the flip side, you also know who your true friends are in these situations. I had multiple other close female friends who although were not at this event, have been very supportive in the break up/make up situation and never showed any attempt to drop their panties. Women are devious creatures. We can smell frenemies from miles away. The great thing about this sense is that on a Sunday evening when you’re bored, it poses an opportunity to subscribe the bitches to every “bill me later” magazine on the Barnes & Noble rack as well as cut the power lines and watch them scurry to work on Monday morning late. Then when they get there, you can pour sugar in the gas tank to ensure they have to take a smelly uncomfortable cab ride home and spend the next week trying to fix their car. While it’s in the parking lot, there is always tires exposed and vulnerable. (Tangent – back on track)

Let’s talk about the opposite – male frenemies of a woman. Those that act as if they are the closest friends, want nothing from you but to harbor your inner awesomeness and just hang out and have good times. Then when you’re single, they hump your leg and tell you they were never really just a friend… they just wanted to et jiggy. Those are the worst of the bunch. Many moons ago when the Earth was green, I had a best friend I met through work who pretended he was gay… for over a YEAR. We would have sleep overs, he held my hair on rave nights, we walked through hell together. One year, I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He said “to have sex with you”. … o_O What?  When I advised that this was not an option, he stated that we were no longer friends. His justification: He had put so much work into our friendship that he “deserved it”. I was crushed. And then I got angry… but thats another story. 🙂

So the moral of he story people is that when you think you have a friend, what is the “end” in your friend?


One Response to “Frenemies – Another Captain Phoebe Von CatLady Challenge”

  1. Future Cat Lady Says:

    Ok, ok… I admit it… I was waving my panties at your mang (from the tallest building I could find in SF)… But I don’t think he saw them 😉

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